I mean, seriously. I’ve stood in several general areas on more than one occasion—and, yes, haters—I’ve been diligent about ALWAYS programmatically notifying the API of a web server as to a) where I’m standing, b) what I’m doing while I’m standing there, c) whether it involves eating (or waiting to eat) something, and d) whether the thing I’m eating (or waiting to eat) turns out to be more properly declaimed as “nom nom” or “fail.”
Duh. Okay? I get the personal responsibility aspects of thorough and consistent self-reporting.
But I guess I just feel like…what? I guess I just feel like why bother standing anywhere if programmatically notifying the API of a web server about it doesn’t inevitably lead to one of the computers eventually rewarding my careful standing-reportage by conferring the prestige, gratitude, and—yes—basic fucking human decency and respect that can only be accorded by triggering a ruby script that alters a small graphic on my phone.
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All books can be classified as
Inspired by the probably fictitious taxonomy of animals quoted or invented by Jorge Luis Borges, the Celestial Emporium of Benevolent Knowledge’s Taxonomy.